Anna Considine ’23
Spring 2021
When Jayhe decided that she wanted to visit Disneyland, she had no idea this choice would prompt her to leave everything she had known behind. As a 19-year-old from Seoul, South Korea, Jayhe hopped on her first ever plane to a country she knew very little about in the hopes of having a little fun. “I’m a sucker for roller coasters so literally that’s why I came,” she laughs.
But, over two decades later, Jayhe still resides in the hills of L.A. where the promise of fun first beckoned to her. She shows me around her beautiful house as we meet over Zoom to discuss the story of how a simple trip to Disneyland turned into a life and a family in the United States.
When Jayhe was growing up, the expectation for young women in South Korea was that they would live with their parents until they were married, and oftentimes, even after. The opportunities available to her felt very limited. Upon arriving in the States though, she saw the chance for herself to pursue a life of independence that was “almost unheard of” for a woman of her age. Her adaptable, adventurous, and perhaps even rebellious nature couldn’t pass up the offer to stay for at least a little longer. So, she decided to take on the challenge, much to the chagrin of her parents.
While Jayhe initially stayed with her cousin’s family, she soon set out on her own to explore the rest of the US. She travelled east from LA to states such as Georgia and West Virginia. “That’s where actually I fell in love with America itself,” she recalls. Her temporary trip quickly took on a permanent nature.
However, staying in the US was not an easy process. Financially, given her parents desire for her to return home, they cut her off in the hopes it would pressure her to change her mind. But, Jayhe was determined and instead began working seven days a week. While initially she didn’t speak a word of English, after picking up a few key phrases, she found herself working for the first time in her life. From food courts, donut shops, retail stores, and bars, to finding work in sales and advertising, Jayhe felt that there were always opportunities available as she moved around the country. At the time, she didn’t realize the true extent of the challenge she had taken on. There wasn’t time to pout, she says. Looking back now, she realizes just how strong she had to become in order to survive.
Furthermore, not only did Jayhe have to find a way to support herself in a foreign country with a foreign language, but she also had to find a way to adapt to the new culture. At her own end, she felt that because she was young and open, she was able to easily adapt. In addition, given that she was primarily in places without any Asians or Koreas, she felt she had no choice but to quickly learn how to fit into American culture. But, even so, she notes that “leav[ing] everything that you are behind” is difficult. As she summarizes, “You’re not only starting in a new place, but basically, you have no family, you have no friends, the language problem. I mean, everything you know is so new. So you’re basically kind of moving to Mars.”
Despite her adaptability though, there was one barrier that she had no control over: race. Jayhe describes how she was identified as different due to her race, especially in areas with few Asian people. “People literally stop and turn and take a second look. Everything about me was very exotic to them.” She emphasizes that she always perceived these reactions as curiosity rather than judgment. Indeed, she felt extremely welcomed, even by strangers, during this time.
However, she does point out that this may have been due to the fact that she was a young, unthreatening woman. For example, the first time that she noticed a negative reaction to her presence was when her brother came to visit. Met by guarded and hostile reactions, suddenly, she had the thought that “I don’t think they’re really welcoming us that much.” Now, back in LA where it is not such a rarity to be Korean, she doesn’t notice any different treatment. Even so, she is still regularly asked where she’s from. “I look different,” she explains. Despite these difficulties though, Jayhe found herself integrating into the US and achieving her dreams. Indeed, she even achieved her dream of becoming a flight attendant, travelling around the world, and ultimately, even meeting her husband on a flight.
Now, years down the line, she is a full US citizen living in LA with her two children and husband. When I ask her about her relationship to the US and Korea now, she says that her home and her family are in the States now. But, she also feels she will always be Korean. “Good days, I feel like I belong both places. Bad days, I feel like I belong no places.” But, even with these lingering questions around belonging, her takeaway is that she knows she can make herself a home wherever she goes. “We learn to adapt,” she says.
She intentionally maintains a connection to Korea though. She still travels there when she can, and keeps up her culture with her children. Together, they celebrate various Korean holidays such as Chuseok and Lunar New Year. Although she never taught her children how to speak Korean, her daughter is now going back and learning the language.
So, while Jayhe had come to the US searching fun and roller coasters, instead, she embarked on the much greater adventure of taking on the highs and lows of building a life in the United States. And, did her trip to Disneyland prove to be the place where dreams come true?
“Personally yes”, she says. Despite the challenges, “America definitely gave me an opportunity to go and get whatever I wanted.”