Damion DeShield ’22
Spring 2021
Maryam: Bright Boundaries Expressed Through Religion & Race/Ethnicity
Maryam migrated from Pakistan to the United States of America as a baby when she was 1 year old due to the decision of her parents. Her parents made the choice to migrate in order to provide better education opportunities for their child and to avoid having to pay bribes in Pakistan to get a quality education for her. Maryam is now a 22-year-old Muslim woman that identifies her race as South Asian.
Maryam’s family was aided in their ability to move to the US by an immigrant petition from her aunt. Her aunt had previously migrated to the US after marrying a US citizen. Maryam’s aunt and uncle-in-law provided a place for the family to stay, helped Maryam’s father to get a job, and translated what doctors were saying to the family when Maryam got sick there as a baby.
Although Maryam’s parents were assisted in their migratory experience, they still had a difficult time adjusting to their new circumstances at first. Maryam mentioned that her parents had to start from scratch in the new country and struggled with the language barrier. As Maryam explained, “in the first few years that we migrated here, we lived with my aunt, like in her basement… And also moving here- so my dad had a pretty well government job in Pakistan, but when he moved here he had to start working at my uncle’s gas station.”
Due to the young age of Maryam’s migration, she is more familiar with US culture and systems than that of Pakistan, but she keeps in contact with family members in Pakistan and has visited her homeland. What stood out to Maryam during her visits to Pakistan was the vast levels of inequality observed among different regions of the country. Her parents also recalled how their life in Pakistan included one in which the layout of houses allowed easy contact with neighbors, and people frequently socialized with each other. However, in Maryland USA houses are more spaced out and the culture is more individualistic.
Maryam mostly communicates with her family members in Pakistan through Whatsapp family groups. She mentioned that she interacts with family members around her age but it is hard to find common ground with them since the cultures are so different. For example, she says, “So like the education system in Pakistan is so much different than in America…The terminology is totally different in Pakistan and stuff like their high school, I think even has different years than we do in America and stuff. So, there’s just like, a lot of little differences that sort of, I guess, pile up and make it hard to like, connect on a daily basis, if that makes sense”.
But I remember one time, I was like at this transfer fair… And they were like, “what do you want to do with this degree?” … And they were like, “oh, there’s already a lot of Indians in the UN”
Maryam has also been able to adapt to the culture of the United States better than family members her age that migrated when they were older. She comments, “So I’ve been here since I was 1 year, or like 1 and a half years old and I’ve had cousins that immigrated to America at like 10 or 12 or 15 years old. And I’m watching them struggle with just like, jobs and stuff. It really boils down to a language ability when I look at it because they have a way more pronounced accent”.
Although Maryam has been able to assimilate to the culture of the US better than some of her family members, distinct social boundaries remain for her which makes her feel constantly “othered”. She says, “I’m a typical Muslim person with like tan skin color, and I look South Asian, for the most part, so when I go to places there’s always that initial feeling of otherness. People are going to start looking at me like does she really belong here? Is she going to speak with an accent or whatever, right?” She also indicated that the wearing of her hijab is another source of her othering since it makes her stand out from mainstream US culture.
American policies toward Muslim groups and countries, as well as American perceptions of Pakistanis, have also contributed to moments of feeling misunderstood or discriminated against for Maryam. She believes that most Americans view Pakistan as a part of India or Afghanistan and that Pakistanis are “a certain type of” Muslims. US constituents have linked Maryam’s Muslim identity to those countries, and she has faced stereotypical remarks and is aware of rising Islamophobia in the USA. She also recalled a situation where she felt discriminated against, “But I remember one time, I was like at this transfer fair…And they were like, “what do you want to do with this degree?” … And they were like, oh, there’s already a lot of Indians in the UN”.
Maryam states that she feels American because she has had American experiences all her life and knows how to navigate American systems. She was once ashamed of her Pakistani identity but now embraces it and is proud to add to the USA’s diversity. She is now a naturalized American citizen and feels more confident in her belonging to the country. She believes it is important for people to realize the differences in the experience of the first generation and second-generation immigrants and to also to be aware of how first-generation immigrants such as herself can live one like that of those in the second generation.