Stathis Kalathias
Fall 2022
To respect anonymity, the person this story belongs to will be referred to as “Mrs. T.”
“I felt homesick for the first year every single day. And back then, we didn’t have cell phones nor Wi-Fi nor links to connect. I was only allowed to call home on Sunday once a week for five minutes, because phone calls were very expensive.”
“So other than being here for so many years, my husband is here. The children that I gave birth to are here. My daughter’s 27. My son is 21. We bought a house, we’ve made it home, we have jobs here, we have careers here, we’ve made very, very special friends who are like family here.
Home is where you feel comfortable and home is where you work and where you produce and where you’re happy. So yes, this country has offered that to me, or this country has offered me the opportunity for me to earn what I have.”
Mrs. T was born in Athens, Greece and grew up in her family home on the island of Cyprus in the Mediterranean Sea with her two sisters and parents. At the age of 17, under the advice of her family, she moved to Boston Massachusetts by herself to pursue a college education.
“So at 17, you know, you know the United States basically, from the movies, what you see on TV, or what you hear. I was exposed to the Western ideas because of my grandfather. So I knew the abundance that existed here whether that was education wise or capitalism and what it stood for. So, I was exposed to the Western ideas and the Western world.
I was truly impressed when I landed. Was it what I thought it would be? It wasn’t because every experience when you’re 17, every live experience is unique from hearsay or from what you watch on TV. It was very, very different. It took me a while to adapt.”
“My first reaction was ‘wow, this is huge.’ My second reaction was ‘wow, they’re speaking differently’ because I was so used to British English that when I heard the American version of it, it was a bit of a culture shock and, and then I attended orientation registration which was very different back then from now you have to stand in line based on last name and I registered and my mother and grandmother stayed at a hotel while I moved in the dorms, they got me settled in and a couple of days later they left and I stayed and I attended university.”
Coming from a close-knit, family-orientated household, the initial stages of Mrs T’s time in America were challenging and adapting to the new environment took some time. She enjoyed going shopping and meeting new people, but missed her home and especially the warm weather in Cyprus.
Over time her work-ethic shone through at college, and she began to embrace new experiences, slowly becoming more comfortable in her new surroundings.
“Every single day, I felt homesick for the first year every single day. And back then we didn’t have cell phones nor Wi-Fi nor links to connect. So, I was only allowed to call home on Sunday once a week for five minutes, because phone calls were very expensive.
I remember the phone company was called a New England telephone, and I remember back then you’re talking about over 33 years ago. It was so expensive that I had to just have five minutes to talk to my family members. So yes, homesick definitely, more so missing the people that I was used to being with yeah.”
“When you’re 17, you just take it in and you process and you say, Okay, how can I adapt to this change? And what can I do to succeed? I came with a goal and task in mind. I didn’t come, you know, to get a job. That wasn’t the intent. The intent was for me to get an education so I was very focused as to why I was here but it was different.”
One thing which characterizes Mrs. T is how she takes care of the people close to her.
Although she found that most Americans didn’t know much about where she came from or her cultural background, the lessons she learnt as a young child are expressed in how she treats people and the compassion she shows in opening her heart and home to others.
“Unfortunately, not everybody, but most of the United States, I don’t think they know where Cyprus is or what it is. Every time I say I’m from, I’m a Greek from Cyprus, they pick up on Greece and they say, Oh, you’re Greek, but they don’t really know that Cyprus is politically an entity, a country. So they know of my background, my religion, my language as being Greek but they don’t really know anything about my country.”
“I would talk to them about our wonderful traditions, and how…we in Greek, there’s a word that there’s no translation in English. It’s called philotimo. Philos means friends, and timi means honor. So I would teach them about the Greek philotimo. How people are so proud of the way they’re very hospital and how they carry honor, with everything they do, because Greeks and especially Greeks from Cyprus are known for that, how hospitable and open and kind they are. So that’s the one thing that I would like for Americans to know.”
When discussing the general landscape for immigrants in America, Mrs P explained how she sees certain regional and institutional differences in the reception towards people.
Her work in education has given her the opportunity to help try and shape the experiences of young immigrants, whilst her and her husband’s experiences were molded by the belief that their character, skillset and work ethic would shine through and see them accepted amongst their peers.
“I would talk to them about our wonderful traditions, and how…we in Greek, there’s a word that there’s no translation in English. It’s called philotimo. Philos means friends, and timi means honor. So I would teach them about the Greek philotimo.”
“So because I’ve lived here for 33 years, I’ve seen different aspects of the country. In New York City we are mostly welcoming to immigrants…I see how we embrace diversity, and how we embrace students from different backgrounds, and different religions in different languages and cultures…we are proud of that in New York.”
“I would make the process easier, but I would do that for any bureaucratic system in the United States, not just for immigration laws, but I would definitely speed up immigration processes and protocols just to make it easier on those who want to stay and work and produce in the United States. Yeah. Process.”
After meeting her future husband in college, Mrs T made the decision to begin the process of creating a new home for herself in America. As this happened and she had a family, her identity as just a Greek Cypriot abroad began to shift and grow to more than that, creating a new cultural identity over time as a Greek-American.
“I think that when I realized that my husband and I ,who were dating from the college years, when we realized that we were gonna stay and get jobs and create a family in this country, that’s when I realized, you know, I’m no longer just Greek.
Now, I’m becoming American, I think the job experience, the buying a home, the having kids. That’s when I realized. Okay, I’m not only Greek anymore. Now, I’m Greek America. So, making this home, that’s where the cultural new identity kicks in.”
“I actually feel very special being Greek and American, being able to converse into languages, being able to have two different experiences and be able to visit the country of my birth and my family. Yeah I feel special to be honest with you.”
Mrs T believes in people being given the opportunity to succeed, but also having the drive and courage to make the most of the opportunities presented to us. In her role now in the Department of Education, she strives to help children realize those opportunities and create a welcoming and inclusive environment for children of all backgrounds and experiences. Her family and friends are all very proud of the person she has become.