Cassidy Cheong ’23
Spring 2021
While she was nervous at the outset, the overall impression that I had of Lawan Li, a grandmother living in Long Island, was one of pride for her journey and a desire to share her migration story. “Yeah I love to talk about this because everybody’s anxious about it, you know?” As later told by my friend, Lawan’s granddaughter, Lawan was very excited to talk to me, and prepared by doing her hair and makeup, wanting to make a good impression. Lawan grew up and lived much of her early life in Chiang Mai, the largest city in Northern Thailand, where she worked as a home economics teacher for the local missionary school. Through her relationship with the church that owned the school, she moved to Bangkok for a brief time, where she was assisted in preparing for her journey to America, with her first stop being New York City. She made the journey by herself, with her husband already in America. She looks back on her journey fondly, denoting the ease she experienced to her knowledge of English, despite it being limited. “I talked to everybody, and I’m not afraid to ask them where to go.”
Lawan’s husband, a physician, was selected to come work in America, which gave him and Lawan the opportunity to migrate, just as he had always told her. “Everybody overseas, they all want to come to America, you know, that’s a dream of everybody. Like, it’s like a funny story. Every time when I, when I met my husband. He would like to say, ‘I will take you to America,’ like a nice thing, right you say.” Transforming a sweet thought passed between lovers into reality, the young couple set up their new life in America.
Alongside her husband, twenty year old Lawan was excited to be living in the United States, and especially loved living in the city. She looked back fondly on her time living in the big city, recalling how she would walk through Central Park by herself to get to her job as a teaching assistant at a missionary school, which she was connected to through her previous job in Thailand. Her husband would work long hours, leaving Lawan home alone for much of the day after her work was finished, so she would walk all across the city by herself. “Oh, I don’t know how I did that!” she exclaimed, looking back on her fearlessness as a young immigrant in a new city.
After living in New York for a few years, her husband got a job in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where they lived for another few years, and also where Lawan gave birth to her first child. There she also attended college, adding to the teaching degree that she had earned in Thailand. A few years later, soon before the birth of her second child, they moved back to New York, Lawan’s favorite place, this time opting for a more suburban setting in Long Island, to better accommodate her growing family. Lawan didn’t expect to stay in the United States permanently. She thought that they would stay for school and then return, but once ten years passed and two children were born, it was too difficult to leave. “When I did go back to Thailand, I don’t think I can stay back there. I went just a few months, I miss New York, so that’s why we never went back.”
Upon coming to the United States, Lawan and her husband had a group of friends from Thailand, mostly physicians, who had also migrated around a similar time. Each year they would get together in various places to socialize, but when talking about her experience as a new immigrant, Lawan describes it as a very solitary experience. “We are the same, the same situation, nobody can help anybody,” but she did say that taking time to talk to others in their physician group about their experiences was a helpful way to deal with tough situations.
When asked about her experience as a new immigrant, Lawan only had positive things to say. People were kind to her, and everyone had “open arms,” as she expressed, which she thought was due to the “soft and gentle” nature of Asian people, giving them a favorable reputation in America. Unfortunately she did have some negative experiences, such as when working a temporary job in a bank, a man pushed her and said, “You, the yellow one. Don’t come here.” Her sister also had a similar experience while working as a nurse in a hospital. Despite these negative experiences, Lawan did not let this beat her down or change her perspective on people, boiling it all down to the behavior of people as individuals, not as members of larger groups. When talking about injustices that she has witnessed, Lawan stated: “I would just hate that one person, I don’t hate that whole (racial) group. See, that’s my idea. I think everybody should see that. It’s not that one group looks down on the other group, if you’re nice enough.” While talking about how she has been perceived in America, she went on to say, “It seems like when I don’t treat anybody differently, I feel like they don’t treat me differently.” To Lawan, it all comes down to your kindness and treatment of others; nothing else. In her eyes, the American Dream can become a reality for anyone through hard work.
Throughout her life living in America, Lawan visited Thailand about every two years to see her family and friends, but as the years went by, the nature of these visits changed. “I think when you live here, [the United States] your personality changes.” She described how during her visits she would dress like the locals and speak in Thai, but the people there would still speak to her in English, as if just by looking at her they could tell that she lived in America. Lawan talked about her friends from Thailand and described how her relationships with them changed in the early years of her living in the United States. “You know, in the beginning, I see them, like the first time I see them and then the second time, third time. But then after that, we don’t think the same anymore.” Early on when she came to visit, everyone that she knew would come and see her, but as time went on, fewer and fewer people came to see her during her visits. Now, she only stays in touch with her family in Thailand, as now it seems like she no longer feels connections to the people she used to be friends with.
Today, Lawan sees herself as a mixture of both Thai and American. She still strives to uphold Thai values of politeness, respect, and kindness, but also has pride in enjoying the freedoms she has gained in America. I suspect that this mixed identity that Lawan has reached is part of why she has felt disconnected and different from her friends from Thailand.
Once her children were old enough, she brought them both on her trips back to Thailand, which they loved, and they were treated like a “prince and princess.” Lawan did not specifically teach them about Thai culture, but did emphasize some of the core values that she learned in Thailand. One of these values is the respect of your elders, especially parents, as this will help build good karma. Additionally, she taught them to be kind to all, as this is one of her strongest beliefs. Today, Lawan lives in her home with her husband in Long Island, also with her son, his wife, and their young daughter and infant son. She has been teaching her granddaughter to count in Thai.
Lawan is proud to be an American, and also proud to tell people about her Thai background, despite Thailand’s state being “not the greatest” today. She says that she is always “so happy to tell people that I’m from Thailand,” due to the positive things that people often say to her about her country of origin. Despite this pride, she has no desire to move. Additionally, when asked what she would want to teach Americans about Thailand, she could not think of any good things to teach. “If I go back, I don’t think I can live there. It’s still not Democratic, you know some people in the government still have some power over you.” It seemed to come down to freedom, with people having much more, possibly even having “too much” freedom in America, than in Thailand.
Everybody should be good to everybody if they come with good intentions. We can work hard, get somewhere.
At the end of our interview, Lawan asked me about my opinion on open borders. I was a bit taken aback, as this was the first question she had asked me throughout our conversation. Lawan went on to tell me a story of her sister, who applied for a visa to come to America. It took 17 years for her visa to be approved, and at that point she was too old to make the most of it. “They should make it faster, quicker to get a visa. Like a few years maybe. Yeah I definitely think it should be fair to everybody, the whole world.” Looking back on my time spent with Lawan, it is clear that she is kind and welcoming to all those who will work hard and is frustrated with our current immigration system. “I just want to tell everybody. The right way is a good thing. We welcome everybody. Everybody should be good to everybody if they come with good intentions. We can work hard, get somewhere.”